Gratitude and Donuts with Tian Richards
Gratitude and Donuts with Tian Richards
In this episode of The Antidote, Amy and Grace connect with actor Tian Richards (Tom Swift) about staying present, finding the best donuts in his favorite cities, and loving Black women.
Amy and Grace share their bummer news of the week - The Supreme Court Overturning Roe v. Wade - and also provide resources for how to fight back. They also share a joint antidote this week: listening to, “Break My Soul,” by the queen, Beyoncé Knowles-Carter.
This week’s Creative Tap-In:
“Make an empty space in any corner of your mind, and creativity will instantly fill it.”
- Dee Hock
If you’re looking for resources following the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision on Roe v. Wade, check out the following:
Plan C Pills: https://www.plancpills.org/
Repro Legal Helpline: https://www.reprolegalhelpline.org/
Call or text the Miscarriage and Abortion Hotline: 1-833-246-2632
BetterHelp Online Therapy - betterhelp.com/ANTIDOTE
Do you have a favorite antidote or need an antidote suggestion? A question for Grace and Amy, or something you loved that Amy, Grace or one of their guests has said on the podcast? Share a message with The Antidote team: https://mpr.tfaforms.net/111
Amy The world is a dumpster fire. I'm Amy.
Grace And I'm Grace.
Amy And we want to help. And fair warning. Our help comes with some strong language attached. Because we grown, y'all. So, you know, prepare yourselves.
Grace As a reflex to the f---ing madness on the news. We're keeping it positive, uplifting, but opinionated.
Amy We talk about cultural moments we love.
Grace Talk to people we adore.
Amy Crushes we have.
Grace And self-care we stand.
Amy During these trying times. We all need a show that focuses on joy.
Grace This is The Antidote. Hi, everyone. Welcome to another week in the final days of America.
Amy I mean I mean, the end is nigh. The end is right here.
Grace Yeah, I think it's a wrap, wrap, wrap. I'm just trying to figure out which country I'm going to escape to. But, you know, for now, we are here. And welcome to all you lovely listeners to yet another episode.
Amy Yeah, it's exhausting to be here and no further proof of that than I went to my first comedy show, guys like. Just like Grace. I f---ing love live comedy. I love stand up. I love being in the energy of a theater where we all agree that this is funny. I just love that feeling. And I went to my first comedy show since the pandemic, like literally two and a half years, my very first show this week. And I f---ing fell asleep.
Grace Oh, baby.
Amy I fell the f--- asleep. I was so. I'm just so tired. I'm so tired.
Grace Oh, I hope you were to where it could be seen.
Amy Girl, I was in the front row. We got in and the place was packed and I was like, Oh no. And they told us our seats. I did not intend to buy front row seats. I don't that we didn't know we had front row seats. They just put us oh my God, in the front row. And I was like, first of all, I never want to be in the front row at a comedy show ever. You don't want to be in the direct eye line of the comic. They make you part of the show. What would you think about this joke? I'm like, I don't want that energy. And then there I was and it's freezing in the theater, and I had to put my sweater sweater on me like a blanket.
Grace And then you're so warm and comfy. You should have left that sweater off, girl, so you could stay awake. You should have froze.
Amy I'm so embarrassed.
Grace Let me tell you guys. So, my friend Amy, this she she has this affliction. I think it's because she works so hard, but she she does. She has been known to fall asleep when sitting still. Just in general, just sitting still like I sometimes she'll be like, Come over, Grace. And I'm like, Are you sure. She's like, Come over. We'll watch something.
Amy You're like, it's after 8pm, we'll watch nothing.
Grace And I'm just like, We'll watch something? Okay.
Amy I can fall asleep anywhere. I really get it from my dad. My dad is a sleepy king and I am his sleepy princess. I can fall asleep. I've fallen asleep at parties. I've fallen asleep at nightclubs. I've fallen asleep at the bar with a drink in my hand. I've fallen asleep in every Lyft ride I've ever taken.
Grace And the thing is, is, is, you know, I do tease her, but I am jealous because getting me to sleep is a whole science project. It's like I have to have the temperature just so. I have to be under a weighted blanket. I have to take special gummies. Like there's so much that has to happen for me to sleep. And I cannot sleep on an airplane. I cannot sleep anywhere in public. Now that we just talked about sleep, now it's time to talk about being awake to the woes of the world.
Amy Oh, my God.
Grace So, you know, we can't have the antidote if we don't have something to have an antidote from.
Amy Starting now up top with our one and only bummer news this week, Roe v Wade was overturned. If you are sentient in America, you know this and it's a bummer because without Roe v Wade, approximately half of U.S. women are now stripped of their right to choose how they want to handle their bodies and their pregnancies.
Grace It's just heartbreaking because I feel like this is going to affect the women that don't have the resources to go somewhere else. So there are some politicians, some states that are saying, you can come here and we'll help you get the health care you need, the abortion that you need. But it's sort of like it's already such, you know, to make the decision is a thing that someone has to do and then to think about, like having to leave, like, can somebody come with you or are you now faced with going to a whole other state by yourself and doing this on your own? It just seems like really callous and terrible to have to like go to a whole other place to get the health care you need. Like, that's so distressing. And a lot of women are not going to have the money to do that.
Amy Criminalizing abortion doesn't mean that abortions will stop. It means safe legal abortions will stop. Abortions have existed since babies have existed. So there will always be people who either choose or. Necessarily have to, for health reasons, end a pregnancy. And the idea that making it illegal will actually stop the practice is stupid. It's just stupid. And it's meant to actually stop women and people with uteruses from having the right to choose what they do with their own bodies. It is not a religious act to say like they have tried to conflate it with religion, to say like, oh, the heartbeat starts at 3 hours. You see the baby's head go back and it screams during an abortion. They say these crazy things to get the religious right on their side. But that's not why they're doing this. It's anti-feminist and anti-woman and anti women or people with uteruses to even begin to say like we deserve as a group of men who decide what happens in America, we deserve to decide what you do with your bodies. It's not religion that's doing this. It's power. It's a need for power.
Grace And it's wild. Because the thing is, is that, you know, all these men that are like, don't, don't, don't get an abortion. I'm just like, you want to have sex, don't you? Yeah. You want to have sex? Yeah. Then you know that. That's what I'm saying. Like you're participating in this, too. Like you want to. You want to have sex, don't you? Yeah. So sometimes.
Amy You want to pay child support?
Grace Yeah. You know, sometimes that sex is what leads to pregnancy. So, like, you know, this affects you guys, too. Like, you want to be taking care of, like, 15 kids because, you know.
Amy You want to be the next Future. You want to be the next Nick Cannon.
Grace Because you know, they're coming after contraception next. So, I don't know, maybe women of America we should try to Lysistrata stop having sex with these dudes stop having sex with them because. Because you never know. Because. Because that's what puts you in the situation that you might get persecuted and prosecuted because some of these states are now having laws that if you do get an abortion, like it's considered murder and you're going to go to jail. So, you know, the only way to completely stop it is to stop having sex. So maybe we should stop having sex.
Amy Maybe we should. But it's also wild to me to assume that contraception, that people only take contraception to stop pregnancy. I take contraception because I have fibroids and studies have shown that having a regular period can slow the growth of fibroids and like fibroids suck. You have to have surgery for that. I've already had fibroid surgery and so I take contraception for that. Lots of women have irregular periods. And how were you supposed to family plan or plan to not get pregnant if your period isn't regular? So people take contraception for that. It's not just like, let me make sure I don't have a baby. Like, there are also things that as a woman, it's hard to be a woman. And sometimes all of these tools and practices are to help us be people. So the fact that Clarence Thomas has also wrote a concurring opinion that says that next he's coming for same sex marriage, same sex relationships and contraception is a real bummer. Y'all.
Grace Yesterday, we you know, I'm in a writer's room right now, and we talked a little bit about it in the room. And what I said yesterday is just like I've been protesting since I was 19, like I went to a school that had an affirmative action case, and so I had to start protesting since I was 19. I, like made calls for Al Gore. I like made calls for Obama. I like canvassed. I vote. Right, I donate. I do so much. Then you elect, you know, these Democrats and a lot of them aren't doing anything and they're like, oh, give us $7 so we can f---ing like beat someone in November. I was like, You have the House and the Senate and the White House. You can do something now. The women cannot wait until f---ing November. I read this tweet yesterday. It's Leah M Willingham wrote the tweet. It says, The clinic staff, the only abortion clinic in West Virginia, is no longer performing abortions. As of today, Roe has never been enough. But in states like West Virginia, it was the only thing protecting abortion access. The clinic staff spent Friday canceling appointments of 60 to 70 patients scheduled for abortions in the upcoming weeks. Some patients broke down and could not speak through their sobbing. Some patients were stunned and didn't know what to say. Some patients did not understand so that those 60 to 70 women can't wait till November. They can't wait till November. They can't, you know what I'm saying? Like, you got to you guys have to do something now. We elected you. We already elected you Democrats, because guess what? The Republicans have told us who they were the entire time. Democrats, you know, with the the notable exceptions of Maxine Waters and AOC and Ayanna Pressley, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, like with the exception of those angels. The rest of y'all aren't doing enough. The rest of you guys are not doing enough. So why don't you take the power that we already gave you two years ago and do something to help the women that need health care. It's health care.
Amy Yea, it's health care. I also just want to mention that there are states that had trigger laws on the books that basically it was like if Roe v Wade is ever struck down, it immediately applies to our state. Some have been in place for as long as 17 years. It goes back to that just in case laws that we talked about, like they make laws that are just in case things go our way or don't go our way. And so there are these states that have these trigger laws. The states are Arkansas, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, my f---ing home state of Texas, Oklahoma and Wyoming. So abortion will in some of these states, it's already illegal as of Friday, as of last Friday when this passed, and then some within weeks it will trigger. So if you're in those states and you need human care, health care, if you need care for your body, start driving. Hoe. Because you can come to California, you can come to New York, phone a friend, get out of there and do what you need to do before going back to the place that is supposed to be your home in the place where you're supposed to be safe. Because unfortunately, in America, a person with a uterus is not always safe.
Grace You know, I just finished dragging Democrats, but I guess you got to vote for them because at least they're not the ones trying to do this. But but I guess you have you can vote, you can donate, you can go to a protest. I plan on going to a protest this week. So there are things you can do.
Amy Well, let's talk about hope just a little bit, because you know us here at The Antidote, we don't want to just live in the sadness. One hopeful thing is that Governor Gavin Newsom signed a bill Friday that immediately protects abortion providers in California from liability when caring for patients traveling from areas where the procedure is now banned. Our access is narrow. Gavin Newsom also announced that California is going to pass a state constitutional amendment protecting a woman's right to an abortion. It'll be on the ballot this November. So, like, motherf---ers get out and vote. Voting actually matters. And even though it feels very often like it doesn't, it is these local elections, state elections that actually do make a difference at higher levels. So please, please get out and vote in November if you live in California. Also, there is an organization called Plan C, which you can find at PlanCpills.org, which will send abortion pills to be accessed online and used at home. Over half of all abortions in the U.S. are done within at home abortion pill, which this organization has called, quote, medically safe and effective, up to 11 weeks, end quote. So learn more at planCpills.org. And then just for the people in the back who maybe are not looking for a solution in November or right now, just take care of yourself, drink your water, call your person. It's a quote that I love from Heaven Nagatu. You can go to therapyforblackgirls.com, browngirlstherapy.com, informedimmigrant.com. All sites where you can help yourself and find ways to access mental health care, which is really.
Grace Also our sponsor. Better help.
Amy Exactly. They didn't even pay for this ad but literally go to betterhelp.com/antidote and get 10% off of your first month of care. So guys, you need to take care of yourselves when sh-- like this is mounting up and you're not feeling right in your head. Like you're not supposed to do this alone. Seek out help. We're in dark times and we need it. How are you feeling after this conversation, Grace?
Grace I'm feeling. Anger, but righteous anger feels like good anger to make change with. Yeah. Yeah. How about you?
Amy I agree. I'm feeling. I'll be honest and say I'm feeling a little hopeless. I've I've never really, like, really haven't really identified as like truly American my entire life. Like, I'm always like my Nigerian identity has been stronger for most of my life. And when things like this happen, I almost feel like, like emotionally homeless, like, not actually homeless, but it's like, where is home for Black women? Where is home for? Yeah, just people who look like me and I don't know where it is. Maybe it's Ghana, um, people keep calling Ghana the Mecca, so maybe I'm going to move there. But yeah, I feel like, emotionally wrecked and like, yeah, not okay. I feel not okay.
Grace Yeah, I can relate to that. As someone who also comes from immigrant parents and who has taught since I was little that this is the best country in the world, it it is not showing up that way right now. So let's get into The Antidote.
Amy Yeah, because we need it. So this is the segment where we tell you about the culture we consumed and things we did this week that made us feel better about the bummer news.
Grace La la la Let's not even play these games. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. We have the same antidote this week.
Amy Yes, we do. But this one we talked about, we usually don't just I want people to know, we usually don't discuss our antidotes advance. But we did. And we have the same antidote.
Grace Yeah. So somebody dropped me a text that Beyonce's song was coming out at midnight that night, and I was like, What? And so I was just like, I knew it. I knew when. I knew when she, like, let us know so early about the album. There was some more stunts coming.
Amy You said it.
GraceI knew that it wasn't just, Oh, we're going to wait till July 29th and the Queen probably is still not done with us. But she dropped the most beautiful, melodic, perfect for this time, you know, Dancing Till the World Ends type song called Break My Soul.
Amy Break My Soul. And I got to say, yeah, our antidote this week is Beyonce's Break My Soul. And it there's something about I think we're going to a song a week by the way I have a feeling we're going to get a track a week until the release that is deserve what I feel in my spirit. No, we don't deserve we're garbage. And yet the Queen blesses us anyway. But literally the song and it dropped early on. Tidal guys support Black businesses because I have Tidal so I got the drag sex I was online and I literally like started playing it and could not stop. And I was with a friend and they tried to talk to me and I was like, Shut up, I'm listening to Beyonce.
Grace And if you go through the actual song, like, first of all, it starts off with Big Freedia. So we should also give Big Freedia her flowers.
Amy Big Freedia. Big Freedia. Yes. Bounce Queen.
Grace Big Freedia. Did that. So, you know, they came on the track and it's just like this hype, like bounce from the beginning. And then Beyonce, Beyoncé comes in with her just beautiful la la la la la la. And I'm just like, oh, give it. And then, you know, the hook drops, you won't break my soul. Like, it's just so like, that's what we need right now. That, like, there's so many things trying to break our soul. Beyonce Yeah. You know, you're trying to remind us that we still have the power to keep our vibrations high and the song is just the f---ing vibe. It's like dancy. It's like, beautiful and it's like vintage. It feels kind of like nineties in a way, like at the end, gospel choir, like giving me, like Mariah make it happen from the nineties. Like it's all like there's so many movements, so many styles that she's touching. She raps in it.
Amy Oh, I know there was a Twitter user I'm going to mispronounce. I think it's New Negro, but it's it's at N-E-U-N-E-G-R-O who said Beyonce. They gave us an anti-capitalist, pro-gay summer anthem with vocals, rapping a choir call and response and Freedia. We really won. Hashtag break my soul. And I was like, yes. She gave us everything we needed. And literally the lyrics are unstoppable. When Big Freedia comes in. At the end it says, Release your anger, release your mind, release your job, release the time, release your trade, release the stress, release the love, forget the rest. I'm like, I'm on, I'm on it and I'm on it.
Grace It also feels like very, very like perfect anthem for Pride Month and yes. Just yeah, you know, I love it.
Amy I support the girls.
Grace Yes. And you know, we do, too. So we're happy about that. And and so it was just what I needed. And like, I've just been driving around every time in my car, I. Just put it on repeat. I roll down the windows and I'm just like, LA, you're going to hear this song. So I'm just driving around. I put it on in my house, you know, when I've been feeling down about Roe versus Wade. Just dance around my house. Because not only is it a bop, it just is like a message. Like, she's almost giving us an affirmation. You won't break my soul world. You won't break my soul, Clarence Thomas. You won't break my soul, you know. Whoever else is try to come for us, you know? F---in Marjorie Taylor Greene. You won't break my soul, you know. We're going to win. We're going to win in the end.
Amy That repetition is what we need to be repeating to ourselves.
Grace So thank you, Queen Bee, as always, for giving us something that we needed. It is a beautiful time to fight for the ideals of this country. And I feel like this is a reminder to, you know, in the midst of the fight and in the midst of all the things that we must do every day to, like, not get discouraged. You won't break my soul.
Amy We'll be back after the break.
Grace Okay. Welcome back to The Antidote. We have a very special guest today. Who is it, Amy?
Amy Our guest today is an actor, fashion icon and tall glass of water from the Dirty South, starring as Detective Tom Swift in the new Nancy Drew spinoff show. Tom Swift on the CW. Our guest plays the first openly gay Black male superhero on television. This cancer king has lived in Georgia and South Carolina, and he takes pride in his temple of a body. We've seen the games on IG. Oh, please welcome Tian Richards.
Tian Richards Oh, first of all.
Grace Thank you. I hope you don't mind.
Tian Richards That is.
Grace That we objectified you right off the bat.
Tian Richards I am here for it. That is my first intro. The best intro. Sh-- is the only intro I ever need.
Amy We'll send it to the New York Times. We'll send it to Glamour. Yeah.
Tian Richards If I ever drop a mixtape one day, like, be concerned if I'm dropping a mixtape. But that will be the intro to my future mixtape. Oh yeah, I'm ready to get the facts and the info. I'm glad I'm done. I'm done.
Grace We do our research.
Tian Richards We're done right there. I'm good. I'm good.
Grace And listeners, what you cannot see is that, first of all, he has the most beautiful smile.
Amy Oh my God, like, I can't look right at him.
Grace I know it's very it's a little I feel attacked. And also he is wearing a vintage Mariah Carey T-shirt. So, I mean, would you would you call yourself one of the lambs? Would you call yourself a lamb?
Tian Richards Yes, not by way of like crazed fan, but supporting my girl and her discography, giving her her songwriting duties. Because, yes, the Queen writes all her songs. Yeah, I love vintage Mariah Peak Mariah, to me, was the Butterfly album.
Amy Thank you.
Grace Oh, my God. You just gave me chills. That album was my childhood. Like, I was always running through the sprinklers. Now.
Tian Richards Baby. Honey. The roof outside like, oh, my. Oh.
Grace My God. Outside an underrated. Oh, the roof.
Tian Richards Come on, Grace, let them know.
Grace Anyway, you are very impressive, Tian, but we aren't here to talk about your many, many, many accomplishments. We are here to get deep.
Amy Yeah. Let's check in first. How are you feeling today? For real? Not small talk. Is anything weighing on you? Anything making you feel great today?
Tian Richards Thank you. Yeah. No, I'm a cancer, as you guys already mentioned, so I'm always talking about my feelings. Now, today is calm. I feel mellow. I haven't worked out yet, so I got to go get my body and mind together. But now woke up. Ate some good food, did some ADR, meditated, talked to my person. So that's kind of. Oh, yeah, talked to my. Mom.
Grace Oh, I love that.
Tian Richards Yeah. And I just been really in a in an introspective place just with everything that's happening. Yeah. I've been reading All About Love by bell hooks.
Grace I love that.
Amy She's a lot of our inspiration.
Grace Queen. Rest in power. Yes. A a visionary. Yes.
Tian Richards So gratitude and introspection has definitely been the theme of this. This time in my life. I'm about to be a new age in a couple of weeks, in like two weeks.
Amy Uh huh. Uh huh. birthday boy. Well, I love that. I mean, let's keep the good vibes going then. You know, we need that right now.
Grace So this show is called The Antidote because, you know, we all need different antidotes to deal with the bullsh-- of life and 2022 has done anything is punch us all in the face real quick. What is your antidote? In other words, what is something non-work-related that's bringing you joy this week or this month or this year?
Tian Richards I would say good food and community like your friend group.
Tian Richards That's been a good thing. Just having good people and good energy around you and sharing it over a good meal. Yeah, yeah. Because just it's that mix of culture and family. I always say my dream is to like have my own version of, like, eat, pray, love or high on the hog.
Amy Yes, yeah, yeah.
Tian Richards Like, I want to go with that for myself. So I want to take like a nice excursion around the world and, you know, meet different people. Go back to my homeland. You know, I'm from Trinidad, so.
Grace Oh, yes, my Caribbean brother. We spoke about this. Yeah, we talked about oh, I'm from Guyana, you're from Trinidad. And I actually do. My, my sister lives in Trinidad currently, so.
Tian Richards Oh, yeah. Okay. Well. Not to get too deep, but what part?
Grace Wherever the convent is at. She's the nun, my sister.
Amy She's in the convent.
Amy Is there a convent? Do you know of convent in Trinidadian?
Tian Richards I'm sorry. I just blew my f---ing wig back. Your sister is a nun?
Grace Yeah. Yeah.
Tian Richards I love this for all of us. Yeah. Like Caribbean Sister Act like.
Grace Listeners. Listeners. I have. I have. A sister who is a nun. Yes.
Tian Richards Sister Mary Clarence sing.
Amy Well, Tian, you said you like good food. So do you cook or do you are you enjoying it or both?
Tian Richards I don't cook. Won't cook. It's not my ministry.
Grace No, I understand. No.
Amy Don't worry. You're in the right group.
Tian Richards Yeah. Listen, if I have to survive, I will pick up my phone and I will order DoorDash or Postmates or my favorite Uber Ubereats. But my cooking, I always say if I can eat somebody else's food and be like, This is better than mine. Like, I shouldn't be doing this. And I've learned my lesson. I don't cook, but I love to indulge in everybody else food.
Amy Well, if good food is one part of your favorite antidote, what are some of the meals that like? If someone made for you, you're like, You really get me. You know what I'm into. You like me.
Tian Richards Or any type of, like, grilled and season chicken. I like different flavors. I like wings, you know?
Grace So you Black is what you saying.
Tian Richards I'm Black as hell. But I love a good chicken wing, you know what I'm saying. But that real Atlanta sh--. Love chicken over here because we met over chicken. Okay. Okay.
Grace Seasoned grilled chicken is what you said. Right before I started with my tomfoolery.
Tian Richards Yes. I love we love tomfoolery. I'm a I'm I love a good dessert. You can always give me with like I have a mean, sweet tooth. I like to consider myself a donut connoisseur.
Grace Ooh. So do you have a place in L.A. that you really love?
Tian Richards I have a place in every city. Love every city.
Amy Oh, okay. I want to hear L.A., Atlanta, New York. What are your donut spots, if you remember off the top of your head. So it's okay if you don't.
Tian Richards Oh, off the dome. Let's go. And I can also bring you on a great donut tour in L.A.. Okay? You have to go to California Donuts in Koreatown. You have to go to S.K. Donuts by the Grove.
Amy S.K. Yes. S.K.
Tian Richards Yes.
Amy I'm writing this down furiously.
Grace California Donuts.
Tian Richards Voodoo at citywalk. They're great.
Amy Yes. Yes. Voodoo. Uh huh. Uh huh.
Tian Richards Uh huh. If I ever going to keep going, Sidecar is good.
Amy Sidecar. I knew you were going to say Sidecar, I was like, when is he going to say sidecar? I'm so glad.
Tian Richards Yes, Donut Friend downtown and if you bout that, like take your ass down to Crenshaw and Slauson and go to Slauson Donuts.
Amy Yes. Okay. Okay. So more Black businesses, I'm assuming.
Tian Richards Of course.
Grace I'm open. Yeah.
Amy So if it's owned by white people, don't go there. I'm joking.
Tian Richards Don't go. And really quickly. Oh, speaking of Black owned businesses in Atlanta, Sublime Donuts, Black owned. Mm mm. Also Revolution Donuts in Atlanta. And we end in New York. Donut plant in Flatbush is amazing.
Amy Yes. Donut plant. Oh, my God, I love it. Yes.
Tian Richards And Dough in Union Square is also great.
Amy Oh, that is so good. Wow. Thank you for taking us on that donut tour. Like, literally, I got to go to Atlanta. I got to try these spots.
Grace Yeah, you know, I've never been to Atlanta. I got to go. Wow. Never. But, you know. Y'all the. The governor down there, I don't like him. That's a bad dude.
Amy They got Stacey Abrams. But Stacey Abrams there too.
Grace I know. But I'm just saying, the guy who beat Stacey Abrams, well, fake beats Stacey Abrams because we all know that she won there. Yeah. But you know I try not to spend.
Tian Richards Well, the whites are going to always white so you can't really. We got our own separate thing that's so different.
Grace I do need to go I do need to go to Atlanta. That's when one.
Tian Richards Come on down. And I can bring you to the best wings spots. Best strip clubs best.
Amy I've always wanted to go to an Atlanta strip club.
Grace Me too, because those girls.
Amy They're like actual athletes on the pole.
Grace They're athletes. Yeah, yeah.
Tian Richards Oh, yeah.
Grace I mean, what I've seen like, I mean, I love I would love to see that in person because I've seen videos of these girls doing their thing. And I'm just like, I just sis, I just want to tip you because you're doing great. You're doing a great job. And I took one pole class, one pole class, and I gave up because it's really hard. Like, it's, it's very difficult. And those girls go through a lot to do those tricks, you know?
Amy Yeah, that's real. It's very difficult. I have a question for you, Tian. what does it mean to be a proverbial sad boy, as you describe in your IG caption? Because I love that. So let's just let our listeners-
Tian Richards Everybody had some like cool bio and I don't have a bio for the longest and I'm like, I'm such a cancer. Like, such a cancer is my sign, my sun, and it's also my moon. So I'm like-.
Grace Oh, so you're double cancer.
Tian Richards I think when people meet me, they see that I'm very like open and kind. That's that, that's the Leo energy. But when you get to know me, I'm very empathic and intellectual and very much everything is feeling based. And I will always have friends say you're such, like cancer and like it, you know, was a bad thing. And I'm like, Yeah, I'll be on my side bullsh--. And it's fine. Like, I'm going to wear my all black. I'm going to listen to my Amy Winehouse and Billie Holiday. Yeah, I'm like, yes, have my blue light in the apartment and lie on my bed and listen to lo-fi like it's great. It's great and it's a lifestyle and it's one that I can embrace my feelings and who I am and then go out into the world and conquer that sh-- and not project on other people.
Grace Oh, that's beautiful.
Tian Richards That part.
Grace That's right.
Amy That's called boundaries.
Grace That's also just it's-.
Tian Richards Emotional intelligence anybody?
Grace Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Emotional intelligence. And I love that. I am also very emotional. People don't really know that about me because I really try to keep it in because guess what my signs are? I am Aries with a Scorpio moon, so I am flames, you know.
Tian Richards She's on fire. Fire.
Grace A lot of fire happening in there. So my emotions are a little dangerous.
Tian Richards But that's the difference with fire and water. Like if I'm upset, I'm just so internal. But fire signs like my sister's a fire sign, and it's just. Yeah, guys are so external and I. I wish I could be that at times, but I'm just gonna go get sad. Yeah.
Grace I mean it, it wants to go external real quick, but I have to have a job, so I keep a lot of it in. I'm the only people who get it is strangers. Like if you f--- with me out in the wild and I don't give a f--- about who you are or what you're about or whatever, you could get it from from jump. But you know, people who I care about or job situations, you have to really work to get me there to the point where you see the the flames come out of my ears, but it can happen.
Tian Richards Okay. Be honest, when's the last time you beat somebody's ass?
Tian Richards Never?
Amy Hands or with words or with words?
Tian Richards Because a verbal spar is a thing, too.
Grace That might have been just last week then.
Tian Richards Anybody can get it. I'll get you a T-shirt. Anybody can get it.
Amy Well, I know this like inner sad boy energy. This cancer energy sometimes manifests in like an inner critic that can be talking to you. Sometimes I want to know, are there ways that you found to manage or silence that inner critic, especially as you're on this incredible journey of starring in your first show?
Tian Richards That's real. I can't even deflect from that one that's something I'm still dealing with. Imposter syndrome is a real thing.
Grace Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tian Richards Lack of self-worth. Self-love is is real and that's real. You have to come to terms with with that. And it's a day to day thing. And I think having good people around you who affirm you, who speak into you, having a good sense of self and expression, like again, not letting that weigh you down, but finding ways to release and purge. That is important. And I try to do it in a healthy way. Like, that's why I work out so much. Or I make sure I journal because I know, like during the pandemic that was like my quarter life crisis. And it was very, you know, it was reckless in a lot of ways. Like I started out, listen, okay? So I started off the pandemic with like three or four tattoos that was in. I started getting them on January, February.
Grace What you get?
Tian Richards By June I had 27.
Amy 27 tattoos.
Tian Richards I have 27 tattoos. I started 2020 with 3 to 4 tattoos. Now I have 27
Amy Oh no. The makeup team on Tom Swift is like
Grace Oh my God. What did you get?
Amy What's your favorite one?
Tian Richards Okay. I have Zora Neale Hurston on my forearm and it says If you are silent about your pain, they'll kill you and say that you enjoyed it. Yeah.
Grace Oh, I love that. See, look, you got. You got deep tattoos. You know what I'm saying?
Tian Richards Deep sad boy sh--.
Grace I thought you'd say Mickey Mouse.
Tian Richards I ain't no basic. Nah. Everything's so deep.
Grace Yeah. He told me he was cancer. Yeah, he told me that you know.
Amy But part of that was like, I don't want to say coping, but part of it was like self care in its own way to get tattoos. Do you feel like?
Tian Richards Yeah. I. No. At the time I think it was just externalizing what I felt internally, but that wasn't the best way to deal with. I'm still appreciative of the ones that I got during that time, but I've grown and learned to deal with that in other ways. And yeah, now that's, you know, my art or just being present in the world. I love how we can connect with humanity just when we're out. Just making sure you look people in the eye, whether they're homeless or they're going through something to acknowledge, you know, their humanity being out in nature and just appreciating, you know, the universe's creations. I think to be present is the most beautiful thing. And, you know, I try to always do that daily.
Amy I write that. I write it down sometimes, like not like every time that I find myself distracted. But when there are days where I'm extremely distracted, I will literally just write down on my notebook, be present, and at least for the moment that I'm writing it down, I am, you know, even if it doesn't extend beyond like the 10 seconds it takes for me to write that, I'll just be like Amy be present. And then I'm like, okay, I was present just then. Now I can go back to being a distracted mess, but I am. It's so hard to actually just sit in the now of things. Right. Especially when you're in a period of growth like you are. And it's like, how do I find the ways to just, like, focus in the now and not fast forward to what my therapist says, futurizing or what's the other word? It's like when you're thinking of chaos in your future.
Grace There's catashtrophizing.
Amy Catastrophizing. That's it. Yeah. It's like. Yeah, yeah.
Tian Richards Being present is the hardest thing is so much stimuli coming at you, so many different opinions, people wanting you to be one thing and just wanting you to be the idea of who you are and you're still trying to find a sense of self and move forward. Yeah. So yeah, just finding ways to be present. Sometimes I'll just look up and you can see where you in the sky and you can see nothing around you. And sometimes that just centers me. But I'm happy during this time too, because, you know, something that we work so hard on is out in the world and people are finding it. And I love where that could be for the new generation. And I sometimes feel outside of myself in that moment because it is so different and so. So precious, you know, to me. So, yeah, I just. I try to find that separation.
Grace Yeah, that's beautiful.
Amy Wait. I mean, you mentioned the show, like. Yeah, I know we don't talk about work that much on this podcast, but I do want to know, because your chemistry with your costar is incredible. It's one of those things when I watch, I'm like, Yeah, almost seem like siblings. And I feel and I, I feel like you must have like a lot of work wise work husbands, work partners, because it feels like your crew is really close and your cast is really close that I feel like that same in a similar way, that connection with Grace like we work together outside of Insecure because we loved each other so much on Insecure and we knew like one day we're going to reconnect. And I, I like that you just said that about Ashley because it feels like y'all are going to be in other things together down the line because they all just have really good chemistry.
Tian Richards Smart girl. That's my angel.
Grace Stunning angel. angel. She's so good on it, too. You both of you are. Oh, yeah.
Tian Richards Yeah. Just to watch her. It's. It's amazing. And I just love being around, like, beautiful women, strong women, Black women. Like, I have two sisters. I only have sisters, so.
Grace Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's that's why you're so sweet.
Amy That's why, like, you just you you are you can tell that you stan Black women like you can just tell.
Grace One of my brothers told me once that because I was he would tell girls that I wrote for certain shows to pick up ladies.
Tian Richards That's such a flex.
Amy That's such a flex, you know who my sister is. Maybe I can bring you all set, Ma.
Grace You know that one show. My sister's on it. So you know, you want to give me your number now.
Tian Richards To I know you saw that one on and yea, she work for that one, too.
Amy So, yeah, she work for that one, too. What's your favorite show? Yeah, that's my sister's show.
Tian Richards It's my sister's show. But it's really it's really the homies, though. It's the homies from down south because my homies in South Carolina in Atlanta is like they vibe with probably usually not my show. And they'll be like I, you know, this one show on the CW right now, that gay n----. Yeah, yeah. That my homeboy right there. Oh yeah he going he going to go into space and sh-- that my boy. It's him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can tell him to say what's up to you. So yeah f--- with your boy. It's really that.
Amy I am obsessed with you making like hardcore super masc n----s talk about you to get girls. Like,.
Grace Oh, I love I love a boy that loves the sisters because, you know, we work hard for you guys.
Amy We really do.
Tian Richards Like, can we talk about legacy? I just got can I just give an interpretive Black woman history lesson? We love all our Black women from the beginning of time and we don't talk about specifically our industry. Let's shout out to the Nina Mae McKinney's and Hattie McDaniel's and Dorothy Dandridge. Yeah. As we just keep moving through time, even in the era of. Oh, let's do it. Diahann Carroll, Eartha Kitt, Cicely Tyson, Diana Ross, and then nineties sisters. You know, we have Moesha. Sister Sister. One on one, like.
Tian Richards Pride Family. I mean. Girlfriends.
Amy Living Single.
Tian Richards Living Single.
Grace Different worlds.
Tian Richards The original Friends, the different world.
Amy The original Friends. Let's talk about legacy. Talking about legacy. Let's talk about yours a little bit. You said you were quoted as saying that you were inspired by watching Omar from The Wire, a gay, dark skinned black man kiss another black man. What do you hope people take away from watching you in this new series, Tom Swift.
Tian Richards I hope they see freedom.
Grace Mm hmm.
Tian Richards I hope they see a boundless future. I hope they see possibility. Without forgetting the legacy. To know what and who we stand on. And to know we can go. To know that we do exist in the future. And that we are going to help build the future, that we help build this country. And that's the foundation that we stand on. You know, that's us. Our blood is in the soil. Our sweat, our tears, our bones. It's in the waters. The voyage over here. And I hope all of that is felt along with. Our ancestors lie down and stood up so that we could move forward. And I just want to be a bridge in that way to show that we. We look so different in all of our identities and all of our intersections, and we don't have to be held back by oppression at all times. It's always going to be something in our way, but it's a resilience to our spirit that is going to be a part of that in unapologetic and that identity. That's what I loved about who Omar was on screen and how Michael Kay Williams embodied that so beautifully and many other queer characters. He was a beautiful ally in that way with how he gave his artistry for that. And I just want to do the same, and this is only the beginning. I hope to play a myriad of things that will serve to lend to that legacy. But to just have my coin in the in the pond just feels good.
Grace I love that.
Amy Oh. I feel so much better now that we've talked.
Tian Richards Proverbial sad boy.
Amy Like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with that of all.
Grace Amy's right, you know, stuff still sucks. But it sucks a little less since we talked to you. Yeah.
Amy Do you have anything coming up that you want to tell us about? Anything you'd like to plug, as in a specific episode to tune in for any sort of twists we need to know about the show.
Tian Richards Oh, well, the season is still airing, so make sure you guys tune in live. But if you know streaming is more your thing, check it out on the CW app or on HBO Max when the season wraps. Yeah, we are every Tuesday at nine/eight Central. CW Episode four is coming up, which is dope because it's called And The Chocolate Cowboys. So we kind of go.
Amy I like me a chocolate cowboy.
Tian Richards Yea. The Midwest and you kind of see some some cowboy energy. Come on, we got our old town road sh--. You know.
Grace Oh, okay. Well, we love Lil Nas X.
Amy Lil Nas X, you listening. Lil Nas X.
Tian Richards Listen.
Amy Montero, you hear that.
Tian Richards Montero. Mont-Montero. What up, boy?
Amy You paying attention? Uh, thank you so much, Tian. This was amazing.
Tian Richards You guys are amazing. I love this. Thank you for this today. Truly.
Grace Okay. So to close this out, we're going to do our creative tap in, which is our segment about creativity. Amy, are you ready for this week's quote?
Amy Oh, am I ever. Let's go.
Tian Richards Okay. Make an empty space in any corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it. That is by Dee Hock. I'll read it one more time. Make an empty space in any corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it. That's by D Hock.
Amy Hmmm. I mean, I wish I believed you, Dee Hock, but I think based on your name and this quote that you were born before the Internet, I feel like if I make an empty space in any corner of my mind, Instagram will fill it up. Twitter will instantly fill it, or a to do list will instantly fill it, or worries about the pandemic will instantly fill it. I want this to be true. I don't know how to make empty spaces in my mind. So I don't quite connect with this quote. But I will say that in the rare moments like I know we talked with the past guest about like being good to ourselves and taking vacations and in the rare moments where I have been able to do that. And I actually experienced blank. You know like live life but without the two do's I do feel more creative. So I want to support the quote by saying I believe that can occur if the right circumstances are there. But I do like the essence of it. What does it make you think of, Grace?
Grace Well, I agree with you that it's very hard to make empty corners of the mind. It actually made me think a lot about meditation. And it's a practice that I want to do more. But it's a frustrating practice to me because my mind is literally so busy. So this is like an aspiration of mine, because I do know that there have been times in my life where I have been able to really successfully complete a meditation practice and really. Yeah, the, the weird thing is the more you do it, the the easier it gets. But those first couple of weeks are so torturous to someone like me who's brain is so-
Amy Girl. I don't meditate.
Amy Busy like my brain is busy. And then I also am a perfectionist. So it's sort of like I also want to meditate, right? You know, so if I feel myself thinking too much, I'm like, I'm doing it wrong. And then. But then if you actually listen to the teachings of meditation, even if you are thinking you're still doing it right, it's just that you have to let the thoughts move through. You like water like that. Oh, okay. There's a thought. Okay. You can go now and you know. So I have been able to reach that a little bit in my life at certain times. And when I do, I do think that it does create sort of like a beautiful space because you're not identifying with so many thoughts that you have. Like it's that idea of, I am that my thoughts. So if you are not your thoughts, what are you? You are the space that is in between those thoughts. And sometimes when you are able to create that space, I find it's a beautiful place for creativity. It's a beautiful place to listen to God. Because, you know, I talked to God a lot. Like I you know, I have a similar practice to you where I get up in the morning and I say affirmations and I thank God for things that have yet to come and all that different stuff. So I talk to a lot. But the problem is, is I don't listen as often as I talk. So I feel like this is reminding me today that maybe try to get into a meditation practice again because it does really enrich my life when I'm able to make it through the two weeks it takes to actually begin to see the benefits of it. Yeah. So, so.
Amy Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I love that you know how to meditate based on try it. And I know it's something that I should keep working on, but I hate being that at things just like, you know, so maybe future me. Maybe future me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Grace I mean, it's, it's it's hard to even because sometimes I pop out of bed and I'm just like, Oh, I got work to do. Got to, you know, pop out of bed and, and get these emails done before, you know, my day job. But so it's hard to, like, be like, oh, I'm just going to spend 5 minutes just doing nothing. But in the end, it does actually help for your mental health and then also for your creativity. Thank you for for that gentle reminder, Dee Hock. And thank you guys for listening to The Antidote. We hope this injected a little bit of joy into your week. I know it did mine. How about you, Amy?
Amy I feel good, girl. We should do this again sometime. All right. We'll be here next week.
Grace And in the meantime, if you'd like to follow us on social, follow me, Grace. At Gracyact. That's G-R-A-C-Y-A-C-T.
Amy And follow me, Amy at AmyAniobi. That's A-M-Y-A-N-I-O-B-I. And follow the show at theeantidotepod.
Grace That's thee with two E's.
Amy If you like feeling good about yourself, please subscribe and rate us five stars at Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Goodbye and remember, you're part of a legacy. The Antidote is hosted by us Amy Aniobi and Grace Edwards is produced by Jenna Hanchard and our associate producer is Taylor Polydore.
Grace Our executive producers, Erica Kraus. And our editor is Erika Janik. Sound Mixing by Derek Ramirez.
Amy Digital Production by Mijoe Sahiouni. Talent Booking by Marianne Ways. Our theme music was composed and produced by TT The Artist and Cosmo the Truth.
Grace APM Studio executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert and Joanne Griffith. Concept created by Amy Aniobi and Grace Edwards.
Amy Send us your antidotes at antidoteshow.org. And remember to follow us on social media at theeantidotepod. That's thee with two E's.
Grace The Antidote is a production of American Public Media.