Storytime with Amy and Grace: Songs in the Key of Beyoncé

The Antidote Storytime with Grace and Amy

Storytime with Amy and Grace: Songs in the Key of Beyoncé

On this episode of The Antidote, Amy and Grace share songs that score the defining moments of their lives, from Beyonce’s Church Girl to Fiona Apple’s Sleep to Dream to Smokie Norful’s Still Say, Thank You.  

Amy and Grace also share their bummer news of the week – a debate over Disney’s first plus-sized protagonist, and TikTokers taping their mouths shut while sleeping for “beauty rest.” They also share their antidotes: impulsive shopping and pre-made cocktails.

This week’s Creative Tap-In: 

“I remember being really young and having this voice inside that told me to trust my gut. And my gut has been really, really strong in my life. It’s pretty vocal and it leads me.”

-Solange Knowles

Do you have a favorite antidote, or need an antidote suggestion? A question for Grace and Amy, or something you loved that Amy, Grace, or one of their guests has said on the podcast? Share a message with The Antidote team: https://mpr.tfaforms.net/111 or tag us on Instagram with the hashtag #ThatsMyAntidote, or leave us a message on our hotline at 833-684-3683.

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FULL TRANSCRIPT

Amy The world is a dumpster fire. I'm Amy.

Grace And I'm Grace.

Amy And we want to f---in help.

Grace We're comedy writers in Los Angeles, so we're taking those bad news lemons and making them into lemonade. Thanks, Beyonce.

Amy We talk about cultural moments we love.

Grace Talk to people we adore.

Amy Crushes we have.

Grace And self-care we stan.

Amy During these trying times. We all need a show that focuses on joy.

Grace This is The Antidote. Hi, everyone. Welcome to another week of the antidote. Yeah, I'm. And I'm a real zippy this morning. I had my go go juice.

Amy Yeah, clearly. No., that's perfect. But, you know what's so funny is sort of like such a pretty day in New York that it does kind of feel like you're in a musical. Like, I woke up and there's just, like, sun shining, and I'm like, Oh.

Grace I know. And you're leaving me this week. Amy, I'm so sorry. Amy's going back to Los Angeles, and then I'm still here working on this show until the beginning of the summer. I love this show, but it's been so nice having you direct, Amy. It's been so fun.

Amy It's wonderful getting to work with my bestie. I'm like, This has been such a treat. It so bittersweet to be done.

Grace I know. And then, like, everybody's just. Like, yuck. GROSS.

Amy There was one day I bet no one on crew has ever seen that. One day I got to set and I just. walked over to Grace and held her like, why is the director hugging? This producer was like, okay.

Grace And then like, we literally like sang together on set. And then I told all the actors, I was like, You treat her good because this is my friend. They were going to treat her good any way. But I was. Just like warning people. Like warning people just to, like, be f---ing cool. My friend's coming, but everybody was wonderful. So it was a really lovely month having you here. Our offices literally next door to each other. It was very adorable.

Amy It was super adorable. And stay tuned later if you want more of this adorable energy, because we have a storytime segment today and Grace and I get deep talking about friendship.

Grace Yes. So, Amy, you know, we got to do this bummer news to get to our antidotes, right?

Amy Yeah, I sure do. Oh, my God. Starting now, up top with our bummer news of the week. Well, first of all, guys, I'm sure a few of you have seen that there's a new plus size animated film coming out from Disney. It's called Reflect. It's a two minute Disney short featuring a plus sized ballerina who struggles with her body image. And there's been a lot of debate about this film. And I have to say, when I saw a plus size ballerina, I, too, was happy. And then I saw that the story was about her body image. And I felt really conflicted. And there's a quote from MSNBC opinion columnists Evette Dionne who said on Twitter, quote, Not a plus size heroine in an emotional film about body dysmorphia, please give fat people new stories. This is exhausting. Other Twitter users called for Disney to put a plus size protagonist in a feature film that was not about their size at all one where the protagonist was happy with their body. And to me, I got to say, I kind of agree. Like, I'm like, Oh, yay, Disney progressive. You have a plus size lead, but it's also a little first thought and it just goes back to that thing. Like Hollywood loves trauma porn, like the first movie. Like there are just so many things where they think they're being progressive, but they always go towards what's the norm core lens through which you would see this person's existence. Oh yeah, being unhappy that they're fat. And it's like, maybe we could be more progressive than that.

Grace We all know that there are so many complicated stories about women that are plus size that don't have anything to do with their bodies. Why must we always do this? Why do we do this to black people? Why do we do this to plus size people? Why do we do this to anybody who is not like, quote unquote, a white guy? Like, why do we always have to go to a place where it has to be about the thing that makes you different from that? And also, it's disappointing. I thought it was a feature film. Like, it's also disappointing that it's a short. They're like, nobody's going to want to see a fat body moving around for a whole 90 minutes. So like three or 4 minutes. So I mean, it's unsurprising, but it's a bummer.

Amy But that's not the only bit of bummer news. There's also this new Tik Tok trend that got reported on CNN. It's called mouth tapping. So the idea is to stop mouth breathing during your sleep by taping your lips shut. TikTok users are touting it, saying it helps with quote unquote beauty, sleep. And you know, we do know that mouth breathing can lead to snoring and excessive thirst at night, as well as dry mouth and bad breath in the morning. It's also been linked to gum disease and a misalignment of the upper and lower teeth. But taping the mouth shut to stop mouth breathing can be incredibly dangerous for those with obstructive sleep apnea. Also mouth breathing might not be the best practice while sleeping, but there are other remedies and tips for better sleep. To me, it sounds like these TikTok users are saying not breathing makes you skinny. I'm like some trends aren't worth following. Can we get off TikTok like we got off WebMD? Talk to a real doctor, please.

Grace Yeah, here's the thing. Tiktok's gonna get somebody killed. Okay, like.

 

Amy Oh, yes, if it hasn't already.

 

Grace Like, I'm pretty sure it's already happened, but, like, people doing things for TikTok, I think part of it is just like coming up with hacks so you can go viral. I feel like that that is part of what the TikTok culture has done is like everybody is trying to get their TikTok to be sent around the world. So they're coming up with weirder and weirder things in order to try.

 

Amy Why are we trying to hack breathing.

 

Grace Get attention, cause I was just like, why would you think that putting tape on your mouth, first of all, that doesn't even sound comfortable to sleep with tape on your mouth. And yeah, what if you have a cold or hear something that helps you? I don't know. I just I don't know why people would listen to somebody who's not a doctor about a medical problem.

 

Amy And Tik Tok has gotten people killed, that Tide pod challenge. People were eating Tide pods and they died. And then what's the one with the crate challenge?

 

Grace Yeah. People fell.

 

Amy People really hurt themselves.

 

Grace Yeah, people fell off of that.

 

Amy F---ed up their whole spinal area.

 

Grace Yeah. So I'm just like, I don't know, it's. The Internet can be wonderful, but sometimes Internet can be harmful.

 

Amy Come on, TikTok. Just stick to the cuff it challenge, please. Like, let's just keep dancing.

 

Grace Yeah, just keep dances. Or I also love, like, financial tik tok and I love like.

 

Amy I don't know, some of those people are bad advice.

 

Grace Social justice Tik Tok at times, you know. So there's things that Tik Tok can be helpful and and ideas and spreading. But not this one.

 

Amy Not this.

 

Grace Not this one. Do you not take your mouth shut, people.

 

Amy How do you feel after talking about this bummer news, Grace?

 

Grace Weird. How about you, Amy?

 

Amy Same. Same.

 

Grace Okay, let's get into the antidote.

 

Amy So as you know, listeners, this is a segment where we tell you about the culture we consumed and things we did this week that made us feel better about the bummer. News. So what was your antidote this week, Grace?

 

Grace So in my in my older years, well, I'm not that old, I guess, but I decided like a year ago to get two new piercings in my ears. So for most of my life, I've just had one piercing on each year that I got when I was a baby. Because Caribbean people like you come out the womb.

 

Amy Yeah, same. All my baby pictures, my ears are already pierced.

 

Grace Exactly. My ears more pierced at birth. So I never felt how it felt to get your ears pierced or anything. But I've just been you know, I've been getting more into like fashion and like things in the past few years. And so I've just been following some of these girls and I see all these earrings decorating all up and down their ear and it looks so beautiful. So I think I'm going to get myself some extra holes. So that sound weird. But in my ears. But you know, I have not had enough earrings like of certain kinds that like fit in those upper holes. Like, I like to do dangly one sometimes on the bottom, but the other ones, like it's more for like Studs or Huggies and stuff like that. So I had just gotten my nails done for our live show and I wasn't ready to go home because I've been living like in this Airbnb that doesn't feel like it's my house. So sometimes I don't always want to be in there all the time. Yeah. So I was just like it was raining and I was just like, I'm not ready to go home. Like, what can I do to kill time? Should I go to Sephora and like slather myself in creams or should I like something else? I was like, You know what? I do need some more earrings for my other little holes that I put in my head. So I said, Oh my goodness, let me just quickly do a yo and go and see if I can get myself some new little earrings. And so I found this place, Gorjana, in Brooklyn. Wow.

 

Amy Wow. That's a great name. Gorjana

 

Grace Gorjana. And I think they have an online store, too. But I was like, let me wander over there. And this very lovely girl came up to me, very sweet. And she, like, welcome me and she's like, What are you looking for today? And I told her what I wanted and she was just so helpful. And she pulled out all these earrings and she, like, cleaned them off with, like, alcohol swabs. And she was, you know, we were chit chatting. She was talking about some weird comedy guy that she was dating and that I was sorry. I work in comedy. And then we. Kind of talking about comedy a little bit. Turns out that she had gone to school for dramatic writing, so she was so happy to meet me at like a working writers, like a very adorable black girl. So she's just like another black woman who's actually done what I want to do. So that was really sweet. It was just really a lovely impromptu little shopping spree that, like, turned into a much nicer thing because this girl who helped me was so sweet. And we got to talk about comedy and we got to talk about writing. And I don't know, it just turned into just, like, a lovely little fab. And then I was just feeling so good. I was on my way to the train. I saw this place that had, like a donut ice cream sandwich it there. And I was just like, Can I try? What if you're totally ice cream sandwiches? And they're like, It's amazing. And they were also so nice and that's why you like. And I was like, I'm a little one, and they're like, We hope you enjoy it. I was like. What is going on? Like, why is everybody being so sweet and nice on a rainy day in Brooklyn? So it was just a really you know, I was not I had a very bad day the day before. And so it was just so nice that these like two like strangers ladies, like, helped me get some beautiful new earrings for my new holes. And then also I had a lovely little matcha donut ice cream sandwich, and it was. I went home and I was very happy.

 

Amy Yay.

 

Grace So what was your antidote this week?

 

Amy My antidote this week was very, very Amy. It was drinking. But I'll say specifically why? What kind of drinking? So I have a kind of a ritual when I'm in production. And, you know, I've only directed a few episodes of TV now, but what I started doing because I like to unwind with alcohol in the evenings, but during production I don't drink like it's just there's two. Yeah, you need good sleep and whatever. But what I started doing was like I would come home from SAT and I would like drink a half glass of wine and then take a shower. And then if I was still feeling like that, like all rattled from the day, then I would drink another half glass of wine and then go to bed. And that was like a thing that I was doing in L.A. and it's sort of like, I can't go out with my friends, I can't go have drinks. But here's a little something I can do. Well, in New York, I was like, Oh, I want to have a cocktail this one night. And I just didn't have the ingredients. I'm not home. So I ended up using a delivery service and I ordered those like on the rocks, like pre-made cocktails, and I got the old fashioned one. And the thing is, it's a small bottle, but it's like four drinks. It's like it's four servings. So I was like, Oh, this is my drink for the week, you know? So I was able to have like a cocktail at night and put a little ice cube in it and like, enjoy it. And I was just like, Oh, this is really nice. I'm not at home and I like the practice there are. I can't make that many drinks. Yeah. And really the only drink that I always have the ingredients for is a Sazerac, because the Sazerac is my favorite cocktail. So I always have those ingredients. But there's something that I like, kind of like the way I like baking or just the method of doing something and it turning out right every time. I really like because so much of our days as filmmakers, as writers is very chaotic and things are outside of your control. And you can do what you can't. You do your best, but sometimes you can't control things. So sometimes I want to come home and have something just like small in control that I can do. And in l.a it's make myself a cocktail. But here, having this pre-made cocktail kind of gave me an a surprisingly the same feeling. Yeah. And even though I didn't make it, but I was, like, proud of myself for buying it. I guess I was like, I fixed it. I wanted to make a cocktail. I don't have the tools. I don't want to buy all those ingredients. Let me make a pre-made cocktail.

 

Grace Yeah, I mean, it's like a ritual. Yeah, like a ritual that comforts you at home, so, yes, it's hard to be away from home for a long period of time. So I'm glad you did something that made you kind of feel like home for a minute. And it was very what a classy cocktail. It old fashioned.

 

Amy And old fashioned. But I will say, even though this isn't an ad on the rocks, has a lot of different cocktails and I just look them up and they make like daiquiris and mai tais and aviation's and cosmopolitans and margaritas like they have so many. But I'm a bourbon girl, so I like my dark, dark whiskey and liquor. So I went that way. But it was kind of cool to think of like, Oh, if I was ever in a situation where like I had friends coming over and I didn't have the time to do something, I can just get these, you know? And I'm like, and I've drunk them before and I've used them before, but like for some reason this week it just took on a whole new meaning because it was like self-care. It was like, Oh, this is a reminder of what it feels like to be home is to make your favorite cocktail. So that was my antidote this week, and I have one more little sip left that I might have tonight.

 

Grace Oh, snap. I love it. I feel like both of us did some sort of, like, luxurious little. Yeah. Self-care this week. So me getting some earrings and having a little conversation. You having a little cocktail. I love it.

 

Amy Exactly. So if you guys tried any of our antidotes at home, share them with us using the hashtag. That's my antidote. Or leave us a voicemail at 8336843683. We'll be back after the break. Welcome to Story Time.

 

Grace Yes. The segment of the show where we're going to ask each other a question you've never spoken about before and who knows where the conversation will go. Amy, you ready?

 

Amy Yeah, let's do it.

 

Grace Okay. So in the nineties and even in the early 2000, soundtracks to movies were a huge part of film. Yeah, I kind of miss that.

 

Amy I do too.

 

Grace You don't really get soundtracks like, you know, Waiting to exhale, boomerang, love and basketball, you know?

 

Amy Oh, my God, City of Angels. And I don't want the world to see me.

 

Grace To see me. I mean, even with, like, I remember, like, early Grey's Anatomy, like, they would put out the soundtrack. And I used to get that. So.

 

Amy Insecure soundtrack.

 

Grace And insecure I think Insecure was kind of like the last show that really did that. I'm like, God, what a beautiful show we worked on.

 

Amy Self brag.

 

Grace Anyway. So with that said, Amy, what songs would be the soundtrack to your life? What is the Amy Aniobi soundtrack?

 

Amy Wow, wow, wow, wow. That's a good f---ing question. There are some I mean. Well, I'll say this. I'll preface by saying, like, I'm from Texas and I was raised in a very white suburb. So I think my soundtrack would be a mix of different types of music, different types of genres. The first song that came to mind was Beyonce's If I Were a Boy. That song like Hit Me in the gut because I'm like, If I were a boy, the things I would get away with. Not because it's- and I also really love the one that she does, which I'm Amanda feminist. Flawless. Yeah. You wake up. La la la la la. That would be on the soundtrack of my life. That's like I wake up and I'm flawless. I also think I would have kiss me by sixpence none the richer that came to my mind. Because I'm I'm like, I wouldn't say I'm a romantic. Like, I. I don't really watch rom coms or love rom coms that much. And I typically am not a super romantic person, but when I find my person, I'm like very attached. So that song always made me think, one day, maybe I'll have someone.

 

Grace I know. I love that. Like, first of all, that song kiss me. Had a choke hold on everyone.

 

Amy Yes.

 

Grace Just like beautiful. Like, her voice is so, like, perfect in that sort of moody nineties way of like, where a lot of those artists were like, Yeah.

 

Amy Yeah, exactly. I just thought like, you know, and I'm like, What are the lyrics one more time? I feel like Ariana Grande Day like took the mantle of that because when she thinks she's very like, I don't know, there is moon songs and I'm like, She's crazy. She don't know what she's singing. But yeah.

 

Grace I mean, just like very romantic, very vibey and that like nineties, like white woman way.

 

Amy Yes, exactly. I also speaking of nineties, white women, I think I would have a Fiona Apple song. Or a Tori Amos song like one of those.

 

Grace I've been a bad bad girl. Yeah. For me as I tell you how I feel. But you don't care that song. Sleep to dream.

 

Amy Yeah, it's. Oh, I just love a witchy white woman.

 

Grace Yes.

 

Amy Yeah. And then I think for my fifth, I think this is my fifth song. I feel like it would be. Wait, wait. This is so weird. But I remember the song was that Monday. Da da da da da da. On Tuesday.

 

Grace And then I went, Yeah, yeah. Is that Craig David?

 

Amy Yeah, yeah. I think that might be my number five or Wyclef Jean God, until November because those songs that are about passages of time, I think that's what I'm looking for is that R&B passage of time, like, we're going through it. I'm shocked. I didn't say a rap song. I'm like, Wait, is there a rap song I would choose?

 

Grace Yea I know you like rap songs about working hard.

 

Amy I Oh, my God, you're absolutely. Wait. I have a playlist of rap songs about working hard. I'm going to pick my last song. This playlist. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, you're absolutely right. I can't believe I didn't things there. It's literally called work hard. Formations on there flawless is on there. I said those but then it might be sweat pants by Childish Gambino. Don't be mad that I'm doing me better than you doing you. I'm like I love that song, but I have a few. I also love Bank by Earth Kang Ha ha ha. All the way to the bank. So yeah. So yeah. A rap song about working hard would definitely be on there. I think that's my soundtrack. It's like.

 

Grace I mean.

 

Amy Wanting love, working hard. Wishing I had more power and authority. That's the Amy Aniobi story.

 

Grace No. Like, my favorite rap song about working hard is nothing can stop me. I'm all the way up yeah. Yeah. That's my sh--.

 

Amy Okay, okay. Enough about me. Now I want to know about your soundtrack, Grace. Like what songs with you on the soundtrack of your life?

 

Grace I mean, it's just so hard because though I like went in and I looked at my top 25, most played.

 

Amy Oh.

 

Grace On my Apple Music. But there's some that are not even there. So let me start with some that are childhood memories for me. So same old G by Ginuwine.

 

Amy Oh my God. Not Ginuwine. I almost said Pony. And then I was like, Amy, don't you dare.

 

Grace No, no. It's just like. Like I. Because I feel that. Because, like. I feel like I've been the same my entire life. Yeah. And, you know, you know, like everyone sometimes I get accusations about, like, I've changed since I moved to L.A. or whatever, and I'm just like, I'm the same old guy. Like, I mean, I'm the same girl that I've always been. Yes. So I love that song also. Sorry. Not sorry. Bye. Demi Lovato has a chokehold.

 

Amy Wait, wait. How did that go? I know it, but I can't think of it.

 

Grace It's like I'm out here looking like revenge, feeling like a tan. The best I've ever been. Cool. Yeah, I know how bad it is, but it gets worse. So it's basically about I'm feeling good. And she's talking to somebody that doesn't want to see her doing good. And so she's just like, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry that I'm doing it. You know, it's nice. I love it. I love songs like that. But I have a little say because I struggle with confidence just as a human.

 

Amy Yeah. Yeah. That's why I like. Yeah.

 

Grace Going through Drunk in Love is the number one song that I played ever on this Apple Music. Well, I guess I really like Drunk in love.

 

Amy It is a good song. We be all night

 

Grace Yeah.

 

Amy Though it is, like, really odd. Like, I'm just going to say Beyonce has some interesting songs, and this is one where I'm like, you really just screaming into the fact that you f--- your husband. I'm like, Do we need to know? And so I'm like, I get it. I don't want to think of mom and dad on a surfboardt.

 

Grace Oh, no, their poor children. They have to hear about all this. Like Mommy, this song about you and Daddy having sex. But, yes, I mean, the first bunch of songs are all Beyoncé songs. Formation. My favorite song, Off of Lemonade, which is Hold Up.

 

Amy Yeah.

 

Grace The one that has a little bit of a Caribbean feel to it where she's wearing the yellow dress and the bat baseball bat. And then, of course, we cannot continue. I mean, the current soundtrack to my life is Renaissance by Beyonce, church girl.

 

Amy Church girl. Oh, man.

 

Grace That's a choke. Hold on me. Cuff it. Heated has a chokehold on me. Like, it's.

 

Amy Just songs you love. Is this the soundtrack to your life or just songs you love.

 

Grace It is right now. That's literally what I be walking around in New York City right now listening to. And oh, there's two other songs I'll mention just for a long time that I've loved is I still I say Thank You, which is by Smokie Norful, which is a gospel song, just basically is about like all this stuff that you go through in life that can be hard and still say, Thank you, God.

 

Amy That's beautiful.

 

Grace For it. Just it's a song about gratitude to me, for God. And then he was a man. Enough for me. There's the Toni Braxton song.

 

Amy Wait, who are you singing that about?

 

Grace So many men. So many men.

 

Amy Wow. Wow.

 

Grace So that's my little song that I'm just like when I come home from a bad day or whatever or, like, had, like, a weird interaction. I just put that in my headphones and be like, Listen, listen. Toni Braxton, a whole world. Yeah, that's beautiful. Oh, and there's one I cannot forget. First of all, you know who was Beyonce to me when I was a child?

 

Amy Who?

 

Grace Janet f---ing Jackson.

 

Amy Janet Jackson. Yeah. Janet.

 

Grace Janet Jackson. Everything from Rhythm Nation.

 

Amy Yes.

 

Grace Janet album like making us all feel bad about our abs.

 

Amy I told you about my chair dance that I did as a kid to my parents. To black cat.  I made them watch me do a chair dance. They're like, that's why she dressed herself.

 

Grace I, I, me and my friend Lisa Berkowitz from back in the day, what we used to do, my every January, my parents used to throw a Super Bowl party, slash my little brother's birthday. And so every time me and Lisa would be like, this is our moment. And so we would literally make the adults gather and we would do a choreographed dance for them. Yeah. Keyword in dance class. Oh, okay. Wanted to go, and they had to sit there and suffer. I mean, I apologize. Whoever went to one of those parties that I really did. Me and my friend actually watched so many Jada Jackson performances. But Janet Jackson and then the Celebrity Skin by Hole was a great album for me. Like I really loved. Did it. Did it. Did it. Yeah. I said, that's great. Well, we've been friends for a very long time, and I'm still learning about you.

 

Amy This was fun. So much fun that I think we should do it again sometime.

 

Grace Yes. And if you enjoyed our storytime segment, let us know and send us some questions you would like us to answer.

 

Amy Yeah. Let us know what stories you want to hear from us.

 

Grace So, Amy, you know, we've done story time a couple times now. And, you know, part of it is we're going to do one of those old school magazine quizzes from back in the day, but it's pretty short. It's only five questions.

 

Amy Okay. What's the quiz, though?

 

Grace The quiz is called Are you a classic commitment phobe?

 

Amy Okay. Damn, I already know the answer to this for me. And I love commitment. I'm like.

 

Grace Yeah, I don't know. I'm not optimistic about myself with this because I think I might be. But we'll see. Let's see. Because of course, the quiz knows the quiz therapist, not yourself.

 

Amy No trust the quiz.

 

Grace And so if the quiz says I'm a commitment phobe, that I am glad you're okay. Question number one on the way to a blind date does that anymore. But sure.

 

Amy I like I used to matchmaker. I've been on some blind dates.

 

Grace Oh yeah. I did that to you. That's right. You did it because you did it like many things. On the way to a blind date, you're most likely thinking, Eh, if nothing else, at least I'll be honing my flirting skills.

 

Amy That's what I should be thinking.

 

Grace B Setups never, ever work. This is going to be a total waste of time. And see, I wonder if he's a great kisser.

 

Amy Oh, I'm a I'm A of these options. I think the thing that I'm actually thinking very often is don't be too nervous. Don't be too nervous. Don't be too nervous. Don't be. Cause I get a lot of anxiety. Yeah, but I think of these options. I always try and tell myself a thanks to my therapist being like, focus on the positive. So I try and be like at least some honing some dating skills.

 

Grace Yeah, I actually would say that I'm A too and that has taken some growth because it used to be B used to be like this is a waste of time. But eh, if I haven't been on a date for a while, just sometimes I'll just go on the app and I'll be like, okay, let me just do one because I done. Yeah. So it's kind of like, yeah, sort of practicing because you do want to get out of practice of that. Yeah. Okay. In a relationship you tend to be the type who a keeps it in. When you're annoyed with your man, why bother arguing be can get a little emotional when you're upset, but what girl doesn't see thrives on drama. Loud fights are just fine because they're followed by make up sex.

 

Amy Oh my goodness. Wow. I'm fully a B, I get emotional. But what girl doesn't. Cosmo quiz. Boys get emotional too. But I, I used to be in a where I would keep it in and be like, it's fine. I don't want to argue. And it wasn't even why bother arguing. I literally had and still suffer with like such low self-esteem that I was just like, if I bring up a problem, he'll leave me. And so I used to never bring up issues, but now I'm just like, You're going to get these emotions.

 

Grace Yeah, I've just seen one thing about that's great about getting older is that you see your friends and your family members like go through a lot of stuff. Yeah. So I know that that holding it in actually doesn't work and the arguing doesn't work. So B is like the way I try to compare myself, like communicating clearly and honestly that I'm upset if I'm upset, but then like not trying to take it to a screaming fight. And in fact, I don't even think I don't fight. Maybe I've maybe screamed once in like all the relationships I've been and and he deserved it.

 

Amy Hah.

 

Grace Okay. So question number three, you have plans with a guy you're dating on Friday evening, but your closest friends schedule a rowdies girls night for the same time. You a reschedule with the guy? Men come and go, but your crew will last forever. B are tempted to cancel, but don't. After all, you make plans with him first and C girls nights are for desperate chicks try to land the guy no chance or bailing.

 

Amy What?

 

Grace What kind of toxic bitch would choose C?

 

Amy That's so crazy for me. It's like whoever made plans with first wins like I'm I would be B and it's not because I'm putting the guy above my girls it's just I made plans with him first. So if I had made plans of the girls first and the guy wants a date, I would be like, Sorry, I already made plans with my girls.

 

Grace Yeah. I mean, I think that's probably the best. I mean, the thing is, I would need some more details. I'm like, how much do I like this guy?

 

Amy There's, you know, it says the guy you're dating, not a guy you just met. So to me, that means it's a guy you like.

 

Grace Yeah. Okay. So if it's a guy like, then, you know, I would be tempted to cancel, but then I would follow through with the plans, although I'd be like, we have to set another plan very soon so I could be in it, too. Question number four You've lived in your apartment for nearly 12 months. How do you describe the decor? A You buy something each month and try to make it even home here. And it looked like it said horny or a first. What? A you buy something cute each month and try to make it even hum here. B you have everything you need and not much else. C, it's full of gorgeous things you love and will keep forever.

 

Amy Huh? I mean, this is none. I my answer is none of these. I'm wondering what I would say is that mine is full of gorgeous things. I love that I'm fine with being temporary. I've always been someone that when I move, I didn't used to be this way. When I moved into a place I had that I knew I wasn't staying a long time. I would get temporary things, but then I was never happy at home because I'm like, This isn't the couch of my dreams. This isn't, you know, the coffee maker, my dreams. So as I've gotten older and obviously made more income, I'm always like, even if I'm here for a short time, I'm going to outfit it like it's the place of my dreams. And even if it doesn't go with me to the next place, that's fine, because I'd rather feel at home. So I'm kind of a B slash C, I guess I'll say C, but I would say, like, for me, I'm like, my home is full of gorgeous things. I love that I am fine with getting rid of when I move to the next place because I yeah, I just want my home to feel like home when I'm in it. But it's not my forever home. But that's fine.

 

Grace Yeah. I would agree with that. I think I would say see for myself because every time I move, I look at it as a fun opportunity to like check in with my style and see like the ways it's evolved in the ways it's changed. Yeah, some things will fit and some things. Things and the things that won't either donate or I give to people that I love or or I get rid of. But yeah, but I think C is the closest of all of them. And here comes our last question. After you're on the job, you're told you won't get a promotion because your work hasn't been stellar.

 

Amy That's never that would never happen.

 

Grace Either of us.

 

Amy That would.

 

Grace We work.

 

Amy Yeah. I'm like, what are you talking about? Is for you cannot relate bitches.

 

Grace Even an assistant cannot relate.

 

Amy Cannot relate.

 

Grace I was the best assistant, literally. What's your work has been stellar. Thank you. I guess you like mediocrity more. I'm like, what? Well, I mean, we have to answer the question. We're not going to know whether we are commitment phobes or not. But a write a memo to your boss detailing how you plan to improve on all fronts. B Start looking around for other employment where you'll be more appreciated and C double your efforts. But consider that you're not as into your job as you should be.

 

Amy Actually, there was a job where my boss sent me an email and was like he kind of was talking about the way I was pitching and was like, It would be better if your pitches were like this or like this. And I was like, Oh, okay. It was just a different boss. His style was different than my previous boss. So I what I did was send an email with more pitches, you know. So I guess I kind of today that's the closest a.

 

Grace I would probably say be start looking for other a job because I feel like for me it's so hard to imagine that I wouldn't be trying my best. But I remember I did have a job. I worked at a nonprofit that will not be named because I'm about to drag the f--- out of them. But they are. I was working so hard. I was getting there early thing late. They just didn't seem to be pleased with anything that I was doing. And I ended up getting fired at the Christmas party in a very petty on their part. But it's okay. It led to some writing. That was the teaser for my pilot that literally got me every job I've ever had. But I feel like there are some places that you're going to be that, you know, knowing myself and I was going to really work hard. And if your skills are not being appreciated, it's time to maybe go somewhere else instead of being somewhere where you're unhappy. So it would be B for me.

 

Amy I love that we had one where we were different. We were the same on almost everything. Yeah.

 

Grace Okay, so after tabulating it, Amy, you got a four and I got a six.

 

Amy Out of how many?

 

Grace I guess you can get up to ten. Okay. So we ended up in the same range once again, not surprising, you and I. So ours is steadfast and savvy, equal parts, balanced and bold. You usually know when something's right for you and when to pull the plug. You get that. Life is about trial and error, says psychiatrist Joanne Magda, Ph.D. Your thoughtful nature keeps you focused, maintain your life equilibrium with some cool head, and don't let friends, relationship issues or job drama color the way you respond to your own situations. So basically were perfect.

 

Amy Well, what's so interesting, though, is the 4 to 6. I was a four and you were six and four is on the lower end. Yeah. Leaning towards way too attached, which I'm not surprised by. And six is on the higher end, which is leaning towards forever a free agent, which I'm also not surprised.

 

Grace No, not surprised.

 

Amy That really is us. Like I would say. I think we are both so. Fast and savvy, but I tend to stick around a little too long or be a little too loyal most of the time. Like, if I'm going one way, I tend to go towards loyalty.

 

Grace And me, I'm like, Bye bye. I have no problem with cutting situations off which, you know, sometimes is good, sometimes bad. Both. But yeah. Oh, but sometimes this is lovely. So that was so fun. So to close this out, we're doing our creative tap in, which is our segment about creativity. Amy, are you ready for this week's quote?

 

Amy I sure am.

 

Grace I remember being really young and having this voice inside me that told me to trust my gut. And my gut has been really, really strong in my life. It's pretty vocal and it leads me. That is by Solange Knowles. Again, I'll read it one more time. I remember being really young and having this voice inside me that told me to trust my gut. And my gut has been really, really strong in my life. It's pretty vocal and it leads me, Solange Knowles.

 

Amy This quote is making me emotional. It's like such a simple quote, but it's something like my therapist and I have been talking about and she literally said, you have a very strong gut and you have a very strong intuition and your intuition is always right and you just don't follow it. And I'm like, it's something I really struggle with. And I think it comes back to what I was saying about the quiz, about being too loyal to situations that are not positive or being too loyal to how things were. And sometimes my gut is telling me to do a thing and I'm like, But, but what if I could make it work this way? What if I could make it work that way? What if I could do this? It just takes this, and then it'd be fine. And I do that all the time. And I've always had a strong gut. Always. But I fight my gut always. And I don't know why and I don't know why. It's a real problem. And so I love that salon. Like, everything about her essence is I'm following this guy. And I think, yeah, sometimes with career, for the most part with career stuff, I tend to follow my gut. But actually, no, I take that back. It's not true. I f--- up all the time. I just don't follow my gut. And maybe that's going to be, you know, we're near the end of the year. Like maybe that'll be my New Year's resolution is like trust your gut because I don't I do. I know my gut is right, but I fight it and I'm like, I bet I can make this work and this way I bet I can make that work in that way. And I'm like, I got to learn to trust my f---ing gut.

 

Grace Yeah. I mean, for me, this is reminding me of things because, like, here's the thing about trusting your gut. Sometimes you also have people in your life that are all gut and they make a bunch of bad decisions and they're just like, So it's sort of like balancing your gut with your brain type thing. So like take for example, this is a perfect example of something that I'm struggling with right now is like, where do I want to go next in my career? Like, should I continue stepping or should I commit to development? Something my gut has always told me that I will have my own show. But I feel like sometimes when I staff, sometimes I'm just like, Oh, but I need money because my own show, it could take forever, you know what I'm saying? So should I trust my gut? And I feel like it's very close to me. So I trust my gut and just throw all my resources and energy in one direction. Or should I keep hedging my bets and like work on other people's shows, which is wonderful. Like, I love the show that I'm working on right now. It's so like near and dear to my heart, but at the same time, it does take your energy from the things that you are working on. So this is a beautiful quote because I think it reminds you to trust your gut. But sometimes I understand why we don't, because the objective facts of the world sometimes will encourage you to believe something different or that, you know, trusting your gut might be unrealistic. But the times that I have trusted it are very useful. Like I've wanted to work in Hollywood ever since I was eight years old. Yeah. Do you know how many people told me that that was not a path that I could take? Like. Dozens and dozens. Some people meant well, some people didn't, meanwhile. But a lot of people have told me that I can do it. But I knew in my gut that I was going to be here. So it's an interesting thing to really just give in to trusting your gut. I think I do need to do it more. I do do it. But then I.

 

Amy Yeah, but I would also say here's that I want to address the things you said, Grace, because and this is coming a little bit from my therapist, but she always says to me that like, it's not one or the other. It's not black or white. Your gut is probably right that you are supposed to have your own show, but that doesn't mean and therefore I can't staff, you know, it might mean staff and it'll take a little longer. So it's like, I have been there and my therapist had to yell at me about those things. But like I tend to and I think we just because we're writers and we finish stories, we tend to see so many things as black or white, yes or no, it's this or it's that. And it's like sometimes it's both, but different. And that's really hard because that and that's what I struggle with my gut all the time because I'm like, My gut says this, but if I do that, then what about this other thing? And I'm like, But maybe it's both. And you need to find a third option. But it's hard. It's like I literally feel anxiety. With this quote because it's it's speaking to something I really need to work on, and it's really hard.

 

Grace Well, you guys, listeners, this is a very friend moment between me and Amy, because these are the conversations we often have. Yeah. Like, we're just like. We don't know. We don't know this or that, but we're trying. But, you know, we support each other through all of it, which is a beautiful thing about our friendship. Okay. Well, thank you, Salon, for. Thanks for joining us. Lovely thing to think about. So thanks for listening to the antidote. We hope that this injected a little bit of joy into your week. I know it did mine. How about you, Amy?

 

Amy I feel good, girl. We should do this again sometime. Oh, we'll be here next week.

 

Grace And in the meantime, if you'd like to follow us on social follow, meet Grace at Gracyact. That's G-R-A-C-Y-A-C-T. Grace.

 

Amy And follow me. Amy at AmyAniobi. That's A-M-Y-A-N-I-O-B-I and follow the show at theeantidotepod.

 

Grace That's thee with two E's.

 

Amy You like feeling good about yourself, please subscribe at Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

 

Grace Goodbye.

 

Amy And keep trustin that gut. The Antidote is hosted by us Amy Aniobi and Grace Edwards. The show's production team includes senior producer Se'era Spragley Ricksand associate producer Jess Penzetta.

 

Grace Our executive producer is Erica Kraus and our editor is Erika Janik. Sound Mixing by Derek Ramirez.

 

Amy Digital Production by Mijoe Sahiouni. Talent Booking by Marianne Ways. Our theme music was composed and produced by TT the artist and Cosmo the Truth.

 

Grace APM Studio executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert and Joanne Griffith. Concept created by Amy Aniobi and Grace Edwards.

 

Amy Send us your antidotes at AntidoteShow.org and remember to follow us on social media at theeantidotepod.

 

Grace The Antidote is a production of American Public Media.

 

Amy Yeah, yeah!